So there you are in a $5000 wedding gown which took six months to pick out and a another six months to fit into walking down the aisle with your sweaty handed father. While you are hoping you don’t fall down and embarrass yourself in front of your 250 guests in whom you only actually know 40 people, your father is hoping that this one day doesn’t cost him his retirement fund. Damn it he just wanted to golf and drink mojitos in Miami not pay for a wedding planner called “Shine” who loves taffeta and glitter!
At the end you see your fiancé who looks more than uncomfortable in his rented tuxedo while his groomsmen are completely hung over from the bachelor party the night before. You were just informed that there may or may not be a new tattoo somewhere on you fiancé and part of your wedding gift is to find it. If it weren’t for the fact that your bridesmaids would look stupid in their overly pink gowns walking up the aisle alone, you would kill the groomsmen.
You say your “I dos” and everyone eats rubber chicken while the groomsmen drink out the bar and your maid of honor cries about always being a bridesmaid and she’ll be in the sequel of “16 Dresses” only her co-star will be Zach Galifianakis, not James Marsden. Come on who doesn’t love Zach?
Your dream day the one you spent your entire adolescence planning in your little binder with your magazine pictures and color swatches. When it is all said and done you spent $35,000 for four hours for a piece of paper and twenty toasters. Sixteen years later will you remember all the details that went into that day?
I never had this dream. I never wanted to a big wedding. Maybe because in my family not one single wedding I had gone to had a marriage that lasted more than a few years. Or may it was because I lived vicariously through Princess Di when she married Prince Charles and that was enough of a party for me who knows.
My dream wedding was honestly just finding the one guy I could wake up every day with and get a piece of paper that said we were hitched then have a nice little party with people I actually knew and liked.
So the Navy kind of changed my plans slightly. I never expected to meet my husband while serving my country. We both managed to get orders to Sicily, Italy , I left in March, he would get there in November, where we had planned to have a simple wedding on a little island near Greece, it was like Vegas in the Med. Well Uncle Sam pulled hubs orders just after I arrived in Sicily. Did I mention I was pregnant? Yep, we had decided we wanted to have a baby with our family’s blessing. So I was pregnant and hubs wasn’t going to be stationed with me unless we got married.
We looked at ways that we could get married before the baby was due in November, 1996. My window of opportunity was closing that I would still be able to travel. Hubs sent me some paperwork for a wedding license and it was assumed I would fly home for a quick four day state side jaunt.
There I was Saturday, June 15th just coming back to the barracks from my “Mommy and Me” work out when I was told by my supervisor I had a phone call:
Hubs “Hey J you ready to get married?”
Me: “What?”
Hubs “Yeah, this judge said we could get married by proxy today on the phone. I talked to our command you your supervisor said he would be your witness.”
HOLY SHIT I AM GETTING MARRIED – Me in my head
Me: “Well okay.”
Ten minutes later I was Mrs. Hunter Nickels. The judge said he had never done a wedding over the phone before; pretty sure it mostly happens in prison situations but I wasn’t about to mention that! But I was married! And it didn’t take a $5000 Vera Wang (I wore a No Fear T-shirt and gym shorts) to get me there. Our wedding costs included a long distance phone call and the wedding license. And a box of tissues that my supervisor went through because he was so happy he was my witness; he was the best maid of honor any girl could ask for. He even straightened my sweaty workout clothes as if my fiancé could see me over the phone!
And these crazy Navy people who I worked with? They decorated my barracks room as the “honeymoon suite”. There were gifts, cards, cake and champagne. They were all waiting next door until I came back and joined me for a lovely evening. Hubs spent the evening with his family and called me the next day. Not your typical honeymoon but what about this day was typical?
So next Friday, I celebrate sixteen years of marriage. I do remember every detail of the day I was married like it was yesterday. So you can keep your fancy dresses, wedding pictures, and gift registries. I will keep the long distance phone call that changed my life in my heart for the rest of my days.
