Week 12 of Living with MS - My New Normal

Thursday starts week twelve of my flare. By now I have a groove. It isn’t my favorite groove but it is what I have at this time. I take each day as it comes and find ways to deal with whatever that day has to offer me. But I do admit the last two weeks were pretty rough and I cried a few times. I should have asked for help but I was determined to do it myself. I sat at my doctor’s and she put her hand on mine and told me that some things are getting worse and It was time to start asking for help. It is hard to go from being a helper to be the one needing help. When you are a stubborn person it is an adjustment. But the one thing I have learned in this eleven weeks is that it is okay to need help and rely on others. It is okay to cry sometimes and be a little pissed off especially when you really want to just tie your shoes and go for a run and you can’t. So you do yoga, find your chi and move on. My new normal is MS and learning to deal with my symptoms and making adjustments in my life. Since no two people have the same issues with their MS there is no blanket checklist of all the things you need to be aware of or prepare for. We all have to have our own checklists. A list of all the things that we may have challenges and the possible solutions. I am making my life MS friendly. I refuse to give up anything I am doing or want to do, I just may need to find a different way to do it. I met a woman who had one symptom with her MS and she told me all the things she had given up because it was too much. I had just read an article about a man with MS who was in a wheel chair most of the time now but he was still mountain climbing. I can’t judge her because that is her choice but I can feel really bad for her because climbing a mountain to me is easier than giving up things you love. The grief and loss you feel will weigh you down and make you bitter. I will never say “I can’t do that” I will say “I will find another way to do that”. This is my new normal. A month ago I found challenges in my home. I couldn’t use a can opener, I couldn’t use a corkscrew. I guess it was at that point that I realized my home was not very MS friendly. It is amazing all the things we take advantage of each and every day like opening a door knob. There are days I can’t do that. Luckily I have mostly handles, but the one door knob needs to go. My shower hates me, I need to get a handle installed and a rubber mat so I don’t fall. I need a new shower head for days I can’t stand and still need to wash my hair. Even getting to my crafting supplies can be a challenge. But my wonderful friends, my wonderful village, are having a housewarming for me to help make my home MS friendly. They want to make sure I have am able to do the things I need to do and I love to do. I cannot put into words the gratitude I feel for the people in my life and their support. I just am in awe and it gives me a strength that will get me through anything I may face and I have some to spare to help others. My new normal is where I am meant to be right now and that is okay with me.