Act your age, not your shoe size!

Well my shoe size is nine, like my daughter Kai whose friends believe nine is the new twenty five. Yes thanks to cell phones, ABC Family television programming, MTV reality TV, and the internet our children are now aging at a rate that will sadly put them in a nursing home before we are ready to retire! I am seriously considering plugging to get a documentary made “Death of Childhood in America”. And we only have ourselves to blame.

Yes a deep topic from the Geek in Four Inch Heelz, but I had a nice slap of reality when I overheard a conversation between two of my daughter’s friends. It was a conversation that I was pretty sure I didn’t have with my friends until I was at least a freshman in high school! Yes times have changed but the changes weren’t for the better when girls who haven’t started puberty yet are talking about sex!

When I was nine I was playing Barbie’s, thought boys had cooties, walked to see my friends when I wanted to talk to them, I didn’t worry about fitting into skinny jeans,  I chewed my nails I didn’t get acrylics and I was lucky if I could brush my hair let alone have it salon highlighted! A ten year old in our neighborhood has a standing appointment to have her fake nails filled and her highlights touched up so she can maintain her “look”. She is in fifth grade she should look ten, not like something straight from the Jersey Shore!

There was a time when tween meant arguing about bedtimes, not wanting to wear pigtails in your hair, and wanting to wear lip gloss to school. Now it is arguing about curfews, talking to boys on the phone(and meeting them in secreet) and catching your daughters with a full tramp wardrobe in her back pack that she is changing into when she gets to school. Luckily I haven’t had to deal with any of this yet but looking at her friends and their parents are dealing with, I know it is coming.

I have been driven to tears by the fact that I am sending my girls into a world where childhood is so short. I want to go back to the days where I had to tell them they couldn’t wear their princess dresses to the dinner table. I want to go back to pigtails and rosy cheeks. I want to hold on to seeing them giggle over things children giggle over. I want to watch them grow up not have it happen over night because today’s society says so. Keep your girls princesses with pigtails as long as they will let you. The time goes by so fast.

I know they will grow up one day but it can’t be tomorrow, this mama isn’t ready!

What is it you do?

I make it a personal task at the first of each year to update my resume. I was told while attending a transition class when I was leaving the Navy that this was a good practice and it was one that has stuck with me. It is always funny when I start looking at my resume, you think of all the things you would like to put down that you have done in your careers. Not only have I done a myriad of tasks I was never really trained for, I have done some things I am not sure you could ever be trained for.I have been with most of my co-workers for more then ten years now, and we see each other more then we see our families, hell we are family a big twisted crazy family. And with a work family there are duties that are required outside the box. I have been asked to fix bra straps, remove dog hair from a co-workers butt, checked teeth for seeds and spinach, and even done the booger check. I mean who wouldn't hire me for those qualities alone right?

Then you actually look at what you do everyday and try to package it up in a nice little bow so some scanner can look at key words and see if you fit into their criteria. Your strength and weaknesses programed into a machine to tell some HR person if you are even worth a few minutes of their time. If I were to insert any resume advice use good key words, like responsible, trust worthy and adaptable.

I was told once that my greatest strength was adaptability. When faced with a new task I did my best to master it. When put into a stressful situation I was able to think quickly on my feet and come up with a solution with out losing my cool, at the time anyway. At work I was able to absorb many of the tasks that co-workers who left the company had so that no new employees were hired and still do my own tasks.

This puts me in quite the quandary in the job market, if I were to leave mine. My title is Information Manager because Jack of All Trades Master of None doesn't look pretty on an office placard or business cards. I know I am not alone in this day and age of corporate downsizing and re-structureing. Our titles really do not tell the story of what we actually do and job descriptions listed in want ads actually seem dull to all of us Jacks out there. With that being said my preferred title would be "Goddess of all things Fundraising, Office, Network Related and Other Duties as Required". And even that doesn't quite sum it up.So just call me Goddess, and if someones asks what I do, tell them everything.

Jumping in feet first

Okay this is the year of no resolutions just results. Cheesy cliche you say? Not as cheesy as you think. I am taking that jumping in feet first, no holds barred, fly by the seat of my pants approach as I head in to the shy side of 40! I have lived too long in the safety net of should haves, could haves and what if's. 2012 is the year of just do it and do it Jen style!
There is no reason to put your toe in the pool to test the waters the year you turn 40. I want to look smoking hot in a bathing suit when I go to Vegas for my 40th in May. For that fantasy to come true, I need to back away from the mochas, put my big girl work out pants on hit the tread mill, save up the cash and find someone to watch the kids for a few days in late May. That is my "go for it" for 2012, never been to Vegas in my life and I think this year is as good as any!
So I parked far from the Starbucks in a much cheaper garage, got a new playlist for the gym, and am seraching for a way to butter up all friends and family for the next five months. LET'S DO THIS!!!!
Oh and what ever happens to me in Vegas will be FB posted, tweeted and blogged about, so no worries about any insanity staying put in Nevada!

Saying good-bye to 2011 in style with a great cocktail!

I can't complain too much about 2011. After all I did drop 40 pounds, got fit enough to keep up with my kids, finished P90X, discovered and fell in love with Zumba, started running again, re-discovered my love of fabulous shoes, started cooking from scratch again, crafted myself into a frenzy, connected with some friends I thought I had lost forever, got to spend a wonderful week with my family at the lake this summer, met my niece for the first time, watched my mother do a Jagermeister Bomb on a boat, and concocted some delicious cocktails! What more could a girl in four inch heels ask for?

Who knew it took 39 years to find your stride, but that is what I think I did in 2011. You wake up one day on the shy side of 40 and realize, wow this isn't so bad. Embrace who you are and go with it. So embrace I did and spent 2011 settling into myself, and what do you know, I fit! Okay I admit, I won't settle into gray hair, not quite yet! A girl has to choose her battles, and I give into a five pound weight gain before I go gray!

All kidding aside, put on your best shoes, and raise a glass to say good bye to 2011! I wish you all the best for 2012! What do I have planned for 2012, well that is another blog post my friends!

The final days until Christmas

I am about to embark on my last shopping trip of the season and for once I am looking foreword to it! What is not to love? I am childless, my wallet is full and my list is doable in a few hours. This girl has every intention of wiping out her to-do list and park my happy ass in front of the tube with a festive cocktail while watching Christmas movies by 8 pm! Can I get a hell yeah?

Friday we leave for my home town to see my family and hopefully some friends. I am not going to let the drama that usually is my family at the holidays over power the holiday euphoria that I am feeling this year. It is rare that I am this at ease, they best not ruin my Christmas zen, this girl can go from Santa to Grinch lickity split! Watch out!

Since I will not blog until after the holiday, I want to wish all my blog readers the happiest of holidays! May your cups be full and your shoes fabulous!

Six shopping/wrapping days until Christmas!

Tis the time to start to panic, fa la la la! If you haven't started shopping yet you will be amungst the millions of Americans that will be gifting the "As Seen on TV" mechandise I loathe along with the pre-packaged gift baskets that have been sitting on retailers shelves since the mid 80's. This is usually when most men consider starting their shopping but we all know they like to make that mad dash Christmas Eve before mid-night shopping at a 24 hour drug store. Since I myself have made a mad dash to Walgreens for missing batteries at 2 am on Christmas, I can't fault them, just mock them! Thank goodness for the gift sections in almost every retailer in America these days! They did this for you last minute shoppers, embrace the gift cards, much better then the cheese of the month club or pajama jeans!

Speaking of last minute, this year will be a little different then in years past and I have to say I am a little sad about it. My tradition has always been that I get up early on Christmas Eve morning, get a coffee and pick up a few last minute stocking stuffers while watching all the last minute panicked shoppers. Last year I saw this old woman take out a man twice her size to get the last flat screen TV at Wal-Mart. There is nothing like an electronics department cage match to get you in the holiday spirit! But alas I will be with my fam in Michigan, that isn't to say there won't be a cage match or two there. My kids will be there and well they always make the holidays a little more interesting.

More interesting then my children's lack self control during the holidays is me and wrapping! I spent my Friday night this week locked in studio B, with my 32 oz cocktail, 6 rolls of wrapping, tape, ribbon and bows trying to get into the holiday spirit by looking over gift piles to make sure we were all even Steven and all the items on the kiddos' lists were there. I learned three things Friday night, #1 I am a pretty good Santa, #2 I suck at wrapping and #3 drinking when you suck at wrapping doesn't make it any better folks, just more entertaining while you do it! Thank goodness for bows and ribbon they can cover almost any wrapping flaw!

Well if you haven't started shopping or wrapping get busy all! There are six days left!

Twelve Days Til Christmas - I need to step away from the cookies!

Okay not only am I eating them but I can't freaking stop baking them! It is like the Keebler Elves and Betty Crocker came in while I was sleeping one night and but it my head that I live to bake. I have now baked six kinds of cookies, two types of Chex mix, and six kinds of candy! Hi my name is Jen and I am a Christmas cookie baking/eating addict!

Okay if the fact that I have been walking around with flour in random places wasn't enough, I stepped on the scale today! YEEP! You four pounds since Thanksgiving. Now not all that is cookies, some of that is because I haven't been able to hit the gym because my work life is hellish right now! But still I'd like to be able to get into my pants when this is all over!

Here are the cold hard holiday facts that we all sweep under the rug like Aunt Ruby's rumless fruit cake, people gain weight over the holidays! I worked all 2011 to drop 40 pounds and and four them found their way back like my thighs were a light house beckoning them home! Those little buggers need to get on out here and go back with their friends!

So the butt stops here,  well it stops growing here. Making sure that that gym is on the top of my famous to-do list. Not only does it keep the pounds off during the holidays but working out can cut down your stress levels. Okay it may not cut down on your stress levels if you just started shopping for gifts but it may help you be in better shape to fight off other shoppers that want that last pair of Pajama Jeans. Working out will also keep me out of the kitchen, away from the oven, away from the cookies. But really if you tasted my cookies you would know they are good! Hey everything in moderation!