35 weeks-Are you scared?

Are you scared? I guess in the past seven months I haven’t really thought much about that question until my father asked me yesterday. I have been trying to stay positive and focus on dealing with all the changes in my life. I am not sure I would use fear to explain how I feel about the things I am going through, I would use indifferent. At 35 weeks of symptoms with little signs of slowing I think feeling indifferent is reasonable. I think there is little reason to be afraid or angry at this point. The past few weeks have been less then pleasant but I have found ways to deal with them the best I can. Humor and hugs seem to help. Somedays I just have to give in to being tired and rest. Other days I need to keep busy even when I am tired. The only thing I am truly afraid of at this point is losing the ability to do the things that give me escape from all this. I haven’t been able to go to the gym in a few weeks. But I was able to go for short walks and I had my crafting. That helped to keep me occupied during this rough patch but now my hands are starting to fail me a bit. I just don’t know what I would do if I lost my hands rights now. But I can’t focus on that. I am working through it and believing that this is just temporary. Before I know it I will be back on the treadmill and my hands will be what they were. I have to believe that.